i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
