Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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