she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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