just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
