she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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