Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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