His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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