hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
she peed on how many people?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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