I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
