Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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