She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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