Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
