I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
