That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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