Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
