Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
