Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
