I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
it glows. i had to have it.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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