Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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