he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
