Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
