If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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