Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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