Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
