Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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