This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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