I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
