Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
People in love make me want to vomit
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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