That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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