I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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