Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
