i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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