i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
