i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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