I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
