I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I need to align my fucking chakras
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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