Your mouth is God's brothel.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
