Screwed.edu
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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