I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
