I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
