We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
