wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
