do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
