I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
