So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
