Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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