I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
