your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
