You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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