I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
it was like eating out sand paper
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
