At least make sure they are 18
Why
It's Friday. Sex?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
When did angry sex become our thing?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
